i am sitting alone in my room tonight on my bed. last night i felt weird and decided to write out a routine for myself called 'getting it together.' the routine helped. i felt better last night after i showered, listened to joni mitchell, folded my laundry, and cleaned my room. then i went and ate. today phil and i had our moments about ir. we talked about some of the authors and theories in the library for a few hours but then we decided that it was boring and we should go eat something and we did. we met back up again later and still didn't get much done. i'm really tired for 9:37pm but maybe it will just be an early night. i haven't felt like spending time with anyone tonight but then i also haven't really enjoyed spending time with myself. i feel like i make the wrong decision most of the time.

i can't wait to go home in just four days. i actually do love the holidays even though i've said previously that i don't. i'm very excited to see my friends and my family and to spend time with the people who i know better.

tomorrow i will go to breakfast with phil and mira for the last time all together. it's somehow already the end of an era. then i will go and study for ir and take a break to go to a coffee shop with ana. i'm anticipating an early night tomorrow too.